The folks in Boston are looking for submissions to the periodicals. Here are a few suggestions that the members of the Church Board of Directors might willingly undertake in a desire to help row their own boat.
1. An enthusiastic wrap-up of their many loving initiatives and accomplishments over the past year. This should easily fill a page or two, especially if a picture of their cherubic faces graced part of one page. The astrological sign of each would be a fine bonus.
2. Each month a Board member could be featured, sharing with readers his wit and wisdom and just a few of the ideas he has contributed for the betterment of the Church. If that well is a bit dry or brackish, maybe some clever doodles or creative noodling from a Board meeting would suffice.
3. The Board could no doubt have a lengthy round-table discussion of how the Gill "biography" of Mrs. Eddy has generously blessed Christian Science and Christian Scientists. A lot of us would be really interested in that.
4. Each month a Board member could take readers on a very personal walk through the MBE Library and let them in on the inspiration it has provided to him. Some heartwarming stories from visitors might also be included to flesh out each month's offering.
5. A hard-hitting article explaining to all those dunderheads out there where they are falling short in support of the enlightened Board leadership.
6. An explanation for those poor souls who must have missed it the first time around of the why and wherefore of "The Writings of Mary Baker Eddy". Some of us underlings don't get it.
7. Some fun fruitage from the fun C.S. website.
Those whose appetite for adventure has been aroused by the call for submissions to the periodicals are heartily encouraged to have a go at it. Personal experience compels me to add, though, that if one does venture into the icy waters of publication in the C.S. periodicals he should be immune to or have a high tolerance for frustration, aggravation, and rejection (sometimes after hopes have been raised). And while you are at it aim higher than "Deep Think", which is something of a misnomer. Neither deep nor think is a word which came to mind in my admittedly limited exposure to this series.
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41 comments:
Hilarious! I love it! Hope the parties of the first part get to read these suggestions.
Well done, blogger!
Careful, blogger, you may get what you wish for. I can see them doing all of what you suggest but spinning it so that newcomers would think it was wonderful. Otherwise an absolutely fantastic posting.
Fantastic humor! Reminds me of the following, slightly scandalous piece which came across my desk some years ago:
From a source deep within the administration building known only by the code name, “Deep Doo Doo,” comes his confidential draft of a memo reported, probably apocryphally, to have come…
From the Directors:
New “Library Edition” Coming
To encourage a spirit of openness and honesty, the Directors thought members might like to know how decisions are made at Headquarters in Boston so we are sharing the following: For some time the Directors have been misinterpretation and confusion surrounding the use and, unfortunately, the abuse of the Full Text Bible Lessons. The confusion is attributed to the field’s misunderstanding of the difference between the “spirit” and the “letter.” At one Board meeting, the Directors were discussing how to help members understand that difference and the discussion became quite animated. So animated, in fact, that one Director jumped up and slammed his Gucci loafer on the Boardroom table, exclaiming, “The power isn’t in the books, the paper, or even the ink on the paper!! The power is in the Word! In fact it doesn’t matter how it’s published, it could be printed on a roll of toilet paper for that matter!!! We all looked at each other, shocked. And that’s when it hit us—what a great idea! Why not? A careful study of the Manual showed nothing prohibiting it… Of course we could print the Lesson on rolls of toilet paper—everybody reads in the bathroom! Think of the possibilities, what a convenience! It answers a number of needs—including our ongoing search for new sources of revenue—because we could sell it everywhere. And people need lots of it! So, we’re pleased to introduce the new “Library” edition of the Full Text Bible Lessons which will soon be distributed under the trade name, “Read ‘em and Wipe” at your local grocery store as well as at the Reading Rooms…
And the rest, as they say, is history.
Simply marvelous! Am telling lots of people about this one. A delight to read for sure.
Thanks for sharing your wit and talent with us!
Think you just may have a new career as a comedy Christian Science writer. Start a magazine. Would sure be more fun to read than the Sentinel! And with more substance, I might add.
Great piece here!
It's me right back. Whoever did that confidential memo, come forward! Talk about laughing loud enough for the neighbors to hear me. Perhaps he or she could be the co-editor of the new magazine.
In fact, I think this is capital idea. Let's all get behind it.
Too early to call my friend in California right now, but can't wait to tell him about this entry. He's going to love it. And while I'm at it, let me say, Dear Sir or Madam: reveal yourself to us! Both of you very humourous individuals.
Doesn't Mary Baker Eddy say somewhere that there is enduring wit and vivacity among God' people? In a bio, perhaps? Anyway, this website certainly embodies those qualities!
Talk about "icy waters" of CSPS, you hit the nail on the head. A very delightful blog post, but has a serious side. You don't know how many of us have gone through very sad experiences trying to express our deep gratitude for Christian Science. Has taken the very soul of far too many, and I find this almost wicked. Thank God there is the Internet!
Noooooooooooooooooo! If you or anyone you know is contemplating sending in some heartfelt article/testimony/poem, don't do it. Don't send your thoughts into that anti-Christ atmosphere. Not enough Christian love there to fill a teacup!
To get serious here for a moment, the rejection one gets from sharing his inmost thoughts on Christian Science with Journal/Sentinel does damage over time. It can reduce one to zero, in a way, and lead a person to doubt if he has anything worthwhile to offer the Cause he so loves. It has broken hearts. This, together with the derision that goes on over some manuscripts (yes, it does, trust me on this!) is evil--not the Christianity one expects from Mrs. Eddy's religion!
Dear Blogger,
Thanks for a super lively entry! Love, love it. But I'll go you one better on the matter of "icy" atmosphere a la sending in articles: it's a killing cold! Yes sir, it is. So be warned, readers of this blog. (Perhaps someone in said department will see this. I hope so.)
Riotously enjoyable! So glad someone just called me and said, "You've got to read this blog!" Keep 'em coming...
Well, this has lived up to its billing. A friend on the phone couldn't stop laughing trying to tell me about it. She was right!
Terrific blog post.
Yes, on a serious note, it certainly isn't wise to share any sincere insight or heartfelt testomony. And this isn't new. Tried that over ten years ago with what I know to be a wonderully dramatic healing of the results of serious accident. It was the closest I've felt to God in my life. One of the first times I was keenly aware of not praying to "correct" something that had actually happened. Saw the suggestion for what it was immediately and just screamed "NO" and never wavered and immediately felt His presence and the healing proceeded from there and less than 24 hours later was at my Reader's post on the platform with no one but my wife aware anything had taken place. The toadies seemed impressed with the testimony but indicated they'd be "working it into" a future program--this was a Radio Sentinel testimony. Told them that was fine but I'd want to hear how they'd edited it before they actually used it including the context. Did you hear that pin drop in the silence? Yep, thought so. They had absolutely nothing to say from that point on and have heard nothing over the years.
Your experience no surprise to me. Could I share things I've been through, just trying to support the Cause and help mankind!
Too bad, but obviously it didn't defeat the previous commenter. And it hasn't taken anything away from me, I assure you readers.
Onward and upward!
To that commenter who had the most marvelous Christian Science healing, was at his post as reader after that instantaneous healing, for heaven's sake is all I can gasp. Ten years ago, and JSH was not expressing mothering care bac then, certainly was blind to Jesus' Golden Rule. Amazing to read about, I tell you. Had I been in the department editing, would have grabbed that testimony so fast and sent it out to the world--as it came in!
One can almost believe they were at work destroying what our Leader left us all those years ago.
As Carolyn J said, "onward and upward." The wrongdoers didn't get 2 of you, we're glad to note.
Dear Blogger,
Don't know if you get Andrew Hartsook's (The Banner) out of Zanesville, Ohio, but your blog is mentioned in it, in a discussion of the Planet Waves interview with a Director in Boston. There will no doubt be many out in the field checking out your ll/2/08 article on same.
Just read your November 2 blog post on the Trammell interview and can't stop laughing. As downright funny as "Pollyannish..." I'm sure new readers will be tuning into your Nov. 2 piece. That sad episode is not dead, and it shouldn't be swept under the table, as so many things have been.
Keep sharing your considerable wit with us!
You are right, that Planet Waves business is not dead. There are many of us out here who are still waiting for that Director to issue a disavowal of some kind. Must be true is all I can figure out. For decency's sake, she ought to step down!
The Planet Waves essay is satire, people. Re-read it with that thought. For starters, look up the Meow Mix in NYC. Is this really how Ms. Trammel spends her time? It was all a joke.
Sorry, won't wash. You "people" will have to try again. In satire there are not quotations from conversations! And why would Planet Waves pick Trammell out of the air to satirize? Hmmmmm?
If that underling or toadie or pupil of Ms. Trammel, Ms.? can direct me as one of the many readers of this blog to a statement by her that it was all a joke, I would love to see it. And with the letters that have been written to Boston inquiring about this sorry episode, why total silence? That interview was posted on the Internet Oct. 31. Don't you think it's about time there was either a rebuttal by the woman in question--or news of a lawsuit to clear her honorable name?
All a joke, eh? Put your money where your mouth is. In fact, a better idea is to send proof of what you say to "The Banner". Have been a reader for many, many years and I know Andrew to be a man of character. If you can furnish proof that Trammel was not involved in any of this, let's see it. I can't speak for AH but I imagine he would print same in his next newsletter. And furthermore, were I a teacher of Christian Science and my name was linked to an Eriscope--a sex-oriented horoscope--the dust wouldn't have settled on that interview before I had denounced it! Let me give you the address of "The Banner": it is 2040 Hazel Avenue, Zanesville, OH 4370l-2222. I think he, as well as many of us, would rejoice to see such proof.
I think the horse has been out of that barn too long now. I know what let's do:
circulate a petition to get Trammell "downsized" and sent back to Florida, or the Prudential, or wherever she's hanging her hat these days.
With all the splendid, wide-awake comments on this issue, makes me proud to call myself a Christian Scientist. Independent thinking going on and this is good. As to Editor of the Banner, as many of you know, he has been ex-communicated from the Church. His crime? Caring so much about the Cause our Leader left us!
In her book, "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures", Mary Baker Eddy says: "The time for thinkers has come." I would say quite a few of us are thinking as we have not been, and I find this quite cheering.
Onward and upward, troops!
Hi. Interesting response to my statement that the Planet Earth article is satire. First, I am not a Trammel toadie. I am an independent CS, not a TMC member. However, I have written to the author of the essay and was told they would get back to me shortly. I will post their response when I get it. I've been receiving the Hartsook letters for years and have contributed to his cause. But in this case, I think he may be trusting others and did not look over the original site. Even the first commenter noted it was "all in fun". Do you really believe that Mary Trammel does 'research' at lesbian clubs in NYC? Or that the collective board "we" "we" love the Planet Earth business model and are basing the Monitor site on theirs? Come on.
correction to my last post: "Planet Earth" should read 'Planet Wave" - and by 'board', I was referring to the TMC Board of Directors. The article indicated Trammel as including all the others in her interest in their web site. Is the entire Board into astrology? "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor".
The following is also in the original Planet Wave article, and WAS NOT included in Hartsook's piece. Doesn't this sound like satire, especially when it is obviously not true: "The discussion/interview takes place as they float rather gently in space, believing that recording the video “closer to God” would allow their prayers to reach Him “before anyone on Earth,” demonstrating that both their proximity and extra effort would ensure their success in this difficult transition from paper, and would “virtually prove that God loves us most. Spaciness is next to Godliness,” Yemma concluded."
So glad we have this blog, and "The Banner" as well. It is clear those with three initials after their names are not going to take a stand on this. They're too busy crouching in the tall grass. But when your soul is owned by the company store...?
Keep speaking out, dear blogger!
Whether or not this is true, I have no idea at this point but it wasn't too many years ago that a teacher of Christian Science from Florida was excommunicated for participation in a lesbian wedding. And if you want to curl your hair, just Google the words "gay, lesbian, Principia College" and see what you get! And it does seem VERY strange there have been no rebuttals from anywhere near Boston. Even Sara Palin and John McCain realized you had to jump on Internet rumors IMMEDIATELY.
We know why there has been no official statement regarding that regrettable interview. Things got out that were "off the record" and they do not know what to do. So they just ignore the situation, hoping it will all go away. But it will not! Interesting to me that when I typed in "Broken Net" mentioned in The Banner, under both Google and All Plus search engines, what comes up? "Earth to Mary Trammell..." November 2, 2008! The issue certainly is out there, folks.
I have received an email from Rachel Asher, the author of the Planet Wave piece. I will be sending it on to others and a copy to Mr. Hartsook. It reads:
"I’m sorry to hear that my post, which is clearly satire, has been causing such a stir in your community. Please pass the message along that I have never met or corresponded with Mary Trammel, have no knowledge of any connection between the Christian Science Monitor and Planet Waves, and that the my article from October 31, 2008 is purely for comic relief.
Kindly,
Rachel Asher"
The Planet Wave author has now posted an editorial comment at the top of the October 31 essay explaining that the piece is fiction, a satire. The link below is to the page.
http://tinyurl.com/7gxnke
I trust everyone who passed along this nasty rumor will please undo what you have done.
I, too, would like to see changes and have been advocating for years. But to mix up the real needs with silly and sad falsehoods will not serve the cause or the real task before us.
Oooo, can we spell libel? Somebody's contributing to the Lawyer's Annuity fund.
Perhaps Rachel Asher would would want to explain what led her to publish this bit of "comic relief"
She should be grateful she didn't ridicule the prophet Mohammed!
Also, Boston is very quick to threaten "dissident" members with lawsuits over the slightest hint of a misstep but they apparently haven't had any interest in this issue which obviously has tremendous potential for harm. Whatever happended to "Committees on Publication?"
This gets curiouser and curiouser.
As an "undecided" sort of "convince me" person looking into Christian Science, I have been reviewing many blogs pro and con Christian Science. What I have seen is that this Church appears to be tearing itself up from the inside out. It seems so sad because it appeared to hold alot of promise but after seeing how everyone works against each other, I am getting more skeptical by the hour. You are all so high and mighty and act like your side of the pew has the TRUTH and knows what Mary Baker Eddy really meant, but look at what you people are doing to each other!
Yoo-hoo previous commenter: it is naive to base your interest in Christian Science on its members. Not sure your comment was sincere, but what you need to do is stay with what the Discoverer and Founder of Christian Science, Mary Baker Eddy has written. We learned long ago, as our dear Master, Christ Jesus, did to trust in God--not man. There you are safe. And you might be healed of all kinds of things as a bonus!
As to that fabricated email from Asher, guess what I'm going to to? Contact her to ask these questions:
1) How is it you picked Trammell out of thin air for a bit of "comic relief"? (Relief from what?!)
2) Why did you link a Christian Science teacher with a New York City sex club? I looked up Meow Mix and my oh my -- filthy!
When I get an answer to these questions, will post them.
Don't hold your breath, people...
Rachel Asher did not pick her subject 'out of thin air.' She was just making fun of the promotion going on at that time from The Monitor announcing its change from paper to internet for its daily paper. The names she used were all over the news at that time. Looking over her other writings on the site, it is clear her audience is gay. Her choice of references - such as the gay club in NYC - were aimed at her audience. There is nothing personal against Mary Trammel here. All public people find themselvs the target of satire - whether its Saturday Night Live, or some obscure web blog that CSers should not have been reading in the first place!
Ok, why was there no disavowal of the interview by Trammel instantly? Were it I, I would have taken out a full-page ad in The New York Times, or USA Today to clear my good name--if I had to borrow the money!
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