Sunday, November 2, 2008

Earth to Mary Trammell, Do You Read Me?

Some, maybe all, readers of the previous entry probably thought the reference to "Plan 9 From Outer Space" silly and over the top (and no doubt it was), but this blog has been advised to check out an entry to another blog, Planet Waves (try http://planetwaves.net/). If you have Bernard Hermann's soundtrack to "The Day the Earth Stood Still" or some space music with the theremin in it, put it on. We are headed into space.

The Planet Waves web site published bits of conversation or electronic correspondence with Mary Trammell, Editor and Chief of the CSPS and a member (alas) of the Mother Church Board of Directors, and John Yemma, Editor of what is left of the Monitor. Says Ms Trammell: ". . . we've been following what we call 'The Planet Wave [business] model' for some time now, studying closely the positive, encouraging spin [pun intended ?] on their articles . . . We both look to the heavens for guidance. Also, off the record, you guys are awesome! I live for my weekly and monthly horoscopes. Did you read the Eriscope [?] for Libra this month? LOL!!!"

"The discussion/interview [with Mr. Yemma] takes place as they float rather gently in space, believing that recording the video 'closer to God' would allow their prayers to reach Him 'before anyone on Earth' . . . Spaciness is next to Godliness" Yemma concluded (much later than he should have). Net, please! Spaciness? The phrase he may have been groping for is spaced out.

My horoscope for today may say "Not all that is baloney is edible". Aha! This may explain a lot of unearthly goings-on in Back Bay. Woods, Harris, the present lot, and who knows how many others are or were Martians, though with the clarity of hindsight we can now see their disguises were always a planet or two off. That hanky panky with the Harvard Medical School was obviously just a ruse to get some help adjusting a few kinks in the Martian anatomy to Earth. Too bad it didn't seem to improve things all that much.

And the MBE Library? We thought it was just an embarrassing white elephant, while all along it was a carefully concealed Earth terminus for interplanetary travel and a hush-hush center for studies in astrological feng shui.

Maybe all this is a hoax of some kind, like Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" broadcast. Yes, yes, that must be it. Weird goings-on: the Phillies winning the World Series, Pluto demoted from the official list of planets, the Burger King guy with the grinning mask, Batman and Superman redux. Perspiration is now dripping from my fevered brow. There are ghostly shadows and strange rustlings just outside my window. They are here! Must sign off.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

Brilliant, absolutely brilliant! If things weren't so sad, they'd be funny. When someone emailed me yesterday with news of that interview you allude to, I couldn't believe my ears. But when I looked it up on the Internet, saw it was true. Unbelievable and depraved is all I can say about what's going on at HQ.
Thank you for putting this out there, so others can see for themselves.
(Arizona)

Anonymous said...

Since someone called me earlier today about the Trammell interview, I've been tuning in to your blog. I knew if anyone could address this hot issue, would be you. You outdid yourself. Going to print this off and send it all over the place!

Anonymous said...

I have a suggestion for the powers that think they are: instead of seeking inspiration from an astrology outfit, why not try the holy Word of God and the writings of the woman who founded the daily newspaper?

Anonymous said...

"Prescient" is what your previous reference to outer space was (if that is the right word). I'm sure you, as well as the rest of us, can hardly believe our ears and eyes!

Anonymous said...

I'm just about to split my sides laughing. This is the most original writing I have seen in a long time. And from a Christian Scientist to boot!
An admirer in Massachusetts

Anonymous said...

Where have you been all my life?! Too bad I can't send a gold star through cyberspace. Well done!

Anonymous said...

torinSpaciness, weirdness, frightening stuff. Your piece in re the shenanigans in Back Bay is both enlightening and scary. Some of the off the record comments made by the interviewee are silly and not befitting the stature of a representative of the Monitor. It demotes us all to the level of the MTV age!
A comment from Connecticut...the land of steady habits!

Anonymous said...

They're obviously still a couple of planets shy of a solar system.

Anonymous said...

My, how CSB's have changed. There was a time when Class Students were advised by their teachers not to even look at the daily horoscopes even in "fun."

Anonymous said...

Pluto is not a planet!

Anonymous said...

Speaking CSB's, I think this one has gone round the bend. I read the interview and I still can scarcely believe it!
Tennessee

Anonymous said...

I do believe Mary Baker Eddy would not be proud of you, but would get several chuckles out of how you presented a deadly serious subject.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't Mrs. Eddy say somewhere ( I'll have to look it up) that there is enduring wit and vivacity among God's people? Your latest certainly exemplifies wit.
A reader from Texas

Anonymous said...

Bravo! You are doing great work for this Cause we so dearly love.
I'm so glad you're on the job!

Anonymous said...

If you're not careful, comedy writers are going to be calling you for a job! This is one of the funniest things I've had the pleasure of reading for a very long time. And alas, a very serious matter for us Christian Scientists.

Anonymous said...

What are you people?
His mother...

Anonymous said...

Wonderful job. Keep right on staying on top of things for the rest of us. We need you!
(Wisconsin)

Anonymous said...

Talk about Mrs. Eddy's call to keep abreast of the times! That interview posted l0/3l on the Net and you had an outstanding blog on it ll/2.
Terrific work...

Anonymous said...

Love it, love it! Keep that pen handy, will you?

Anonymous said...

As an earlier commenter said, they're going to be after you for comedy writing. My neighbor down the street probably heard me laughing just now. Riotously funny! When Saturday Night Live tires of Tina Fey doing Palin, they'll be calling you.

Anonymous said...

Really enjoyed this entry. So well done! But as a Christian Scientist all my life, what in blazes is a Eriscope? Never ran across this in the Bible or the writings of Mary Baker Eddy. They are out in outer space somewhere.

Anonymous said...

I thought you people where suppose to be thinkers.

Anonymous said...

Eriscope,a sex-oriented horoscope

Anonymous said...

Just read that Trammell interview for myself, and I still don't believe it! What in the world is she doing? And one of the worst things about what she said was, in essence, a little heathenism on that astrology site is ok. Well, this explains a lot of what has been going on with the regrettable and wrong changes in what our Leader bequeathed to us!

Anonymous said...

I just love seeing someone tell it like it is, instead of putting a gloss on everything, hiding what's really going on, pretending all is well when obviously it is rotten underneath! Let us hope the ones who need it read this entry and wake up!

Anonymous said...

So. are we expecting to see a retraction of that interview by either party, Trammell or Yemma? It's been over 2 weeks now since I first read your excellent posting, and I'm not aware anyone's said it's all false, or a lawsuit has been instituted.

Anonymous said...

I just finished reading the Planet Waves piece, and have decided the whole thing is satire, which is probably why there will be no retraction. Too bad that many will believe this about Mrs. Trammel. It is now in the Hartsook newsletter, and treated as if it were a serious piece of news.

Anonymous said...

Being an incurable comedy writer, I saw the satirical Monitor material recently because the reactions the blog produced were brought to my attention.

I wrote a Satire on various issues facing Christian Science on planet Earth. It's inside humor. If anyone would like a copy of the satire, I will e-mail it to you. Bill Sweet at spindrif@xnet.com

Anonymous said...

I was looking up Mary Trammell and saw your unusual article as one of the top links on google. Then I looked up the actual article on Planet Waves. Did you ever post a follow up blog, noting that Eric F., of Planet Waves, posted that his article was pure fiction?

http://planetwaves.net/pagetwo/2008/10/31/christian-science-monitor-to-follow-planet-waves-business-model/

From what I could tell, your followers took your blog seriously. I have to wonder, whatever happened to the Matthew Code? To good research? To not spreading false stories?