Gillian Gill book on MBE: A cesspool falsely advertised as a mountain spring by hucksters who don't know, don't care to know, or who cynically ignore the difference.
Full-text Bible lessons: A very small boat which enables the indifferent sailor to leave the sturdy docks behind and indulge the dangerous delusion that he's got with him everything he needs to ride out storms, which are much closer than he thinks.
C.S. Journal and Sentinel: With some few exceptions, bland, stupor-inducing bumf.
C.S. Monitor: A print Tom Thumb long wandering and lost, and demons (not birds this time) have eaten all the bread crumbs showing the way back home.
The Christian Science Standard of Healing: In its most recent iteration, a soothing bromide for the healthy, wealthy, and wise and a blind alley for the afflicted.
Weekly Bible lessons: A potentially nourishing meal prepared by chefs with questionable cordon bleu qualifications.
Lectures and talks (?): Often an oral pea soup which permits the herding of the befuddled quarry into application pens where they can be tagged and released as useful paying members of The Mother Fog Machine.
C.S. Reading Rooms: In too many instances, a hang-out and computer game room for any youths or adults bored enough to wander in; a sales venue for an excrescence like the Gill book. The "reading" part of the name has largely gone the way of cabooses on trains.
C.S. Sunday School: Too often, a corral where youthful hyperactivity and misbehavior is partially tamed by meaningless games and schoolyard banter. Dedicated buckaroos can usually be found standing forlornly outside the fence.
Christian love expressed in churches: Too often, bonhomie directed only to those in one's own select camp or social class. Demurrers, independent thinkers, and the socially insignificant can easily find themselves relegated to the frosty Siberia of the peanut gallery.
C.S. practitioners and teachers: These days a decidedly mixed bag. For the unwary or uninformed, choosing either is a C.S. version of "Wheel of Fortune".