Mirabile dictu, white smoke has issued from the chimney, and the Journal has made it official: We have new leaders! No, none of them is Mrs. Eddy, but tant pis. We have also learned that everything, including responsibility, is being outsourced. And hosanna, our new leaders have already proven their worth by bravely and skillfully leading the Church out of the Promised Land and back into the wilderness.
The Discoverer of Christian Science, the Founder of the Church of Christ, Scientist, and its Leader in perpetuity has been nonchalantly and perfidiously tossed overboard, apparently for being a constant aggravation, annoyance, and wet blanket. Mrs. Eddy is now a jetsam, free-agent commodity available for exploitation by any feminist, immoralist, or carney who can turn her into a little ready cash. Legal work is also, it would seem, being put into the capable hands of at least one attorney who is a woeful tabula rasa where Christian Science is concerned.
Russ Gerber's cotton-puff interview in the April Journal with attorney Steve Lyons is certainly hair-raising, if not hackle-raising. For some tastes Mr. Lyons may come off as sickeningly obsequious to the church leaders, especially [genuflect] leader Nate Talbot. One can visualize during the "interview" the carefully orchestrated play of strings and cue cards. Mr. Lyons dutifully hammers home his laughable concerns about possible marginalization of the musty Christian Science belief system. Yoo-hoo, Rip, this is 2009, not 1989! You're at least a couple of decades late with that worry. Check your Guccis, sir; that's a fetid backwater you're standing in now, and it didn't show up unexpectedly last night. You come across like an archaeologist who has just unearthed a weird, pre-historic artifact, but who doesn't want his serious misgivings about it to show and spoil a profitable gig.
There's a method in our leaders' madness, though. The new MC motto seems to be the familiar saying: "Better to remain silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." If someone like a Gill or Lyons commits a boo-boo, let him be the naughty girl or boy and expendable fall guy and not a denizen of our pantheon of leaders.
Those interested in the interview, and any loyal Christian Scientist should be, can peruse it with spot-on running commentary from "a sheep". The document should be fairly easy to obtain. Do so and be prepared to weep.