Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Unavailing Prayer

Our Father which art . . . I need to get a more comfortable chair, and I'm thirsty. While I'm at it I'll clip this hangnail. Rats! I forgot to get bottled water yesterday.

Hallowed be . . . I wonder if that's the hallow in Halloween. I hope we don't get any trick-or-treaters this year. I'll get something I can eat just in case. What do I want for lunch?

Thy kingdom . . . Is that Bob mowing his yard again? I thought he just finished running his garage-full of noise-makers. He must be short of things to do with his time. I wonder if there has ever been life on Mars. Hmm, what's that speck on the wall?

Thy will be . . . I'll bet Colorado Springs is nice this time of year. Pikes Peak, Garden of the Gods, Green Mountain Falls, if it's still there. That was a lousy danish I had this morning. Mary's eriscopes, can you believe it?

Give us this day . . . Speaking of bread, Fred Smith had better lay off the goodies. We're going to have to assign a couple of ushers as tugs to maneuver the Good Ship Twinkie into his pew if he doesn't watch out. Now where was I? Horoscopes too.

And forgive us our . . . That was a hideous tie the First Reader wore Sunday. Maybe it had breakfast on it, tie by Brooks Brothers and IHOP. Couldn't take my eyes off of it and that old water stain on the ceiling. Come to think of it I haven't seen the Harrises lately.

And lead us not . . . I'd better get the air pressure in my tires checked. It's been quite a while, and it's not a good idea to run them underinflated. Hurts mileage too. Could get gas at the same time. I wonder if I could get by with regular?

For Thine is . . . I'd go to Arby's for lunch, but the service is glacial and it's hard getting out. Hardee's? They never taste as good as they look, and their tv commercials are disgusting. Oh well. I don't know why I bother to pray since it never seems to do any good. Meow Mix, hubba-hubba!


Southern CA fan said...

Ooh, what a delicious sense of humour you have, blogger. Very serious topic, yet so freshly done.
This ties in with a previous one of yours doesn't it? Something about pitter patter of personal sense? I'll have to go back and re-read that one.

Anonymous said...

A lot of laughs in this one. You are so good at this. Keep up the blogging. You are something else!

Anonymous said...

that was EXCELLENT

such a pointed message delivered so very humorously

the way you put it together was truly inspired, so simple yet so clever

and the message is one that strikes a chord of familiarity with everyone (if they are honest)

the piece really deserves a very wide readership, has potential to become a "classic" imo

Appreciate you said...

Terrific entry, blogger. Several things came to mind as I read this, but one stands out: being "in church" is actually a matter of right, that is to say, spiritual thinking, isn't it? Having our body planted in the pew can signify almost nothing.
Thanks for making me laugh!

Anonymous said...

Really, really entertaining. And sadly for most of us, all too true. How the thoughts do wander when they shouldn't!
(And I couldn't help but note your jibes at paganism.)

L. K. from D.C. said...

Extremely well done blog post you've got here. Funny as all get out, but so serious. How many times have I sat in church thinking only of getting to go to lunch! Shameful, isn't it?

Cambridge said...

I can always count on you, blogger, for Christian Science issues presented in the most talented and original way.
Keep up the great work!

Thanks from NH said...

I agree with all of this--even to the disgusting Hardee's commercials. I'm not a prude, but way too suggestive. And I would imagine your references to eriscopes and meow mix points directly to that "Director" in Boston. Also, you mentioned "Harrises". Clever blog post here.

Jack, Wisconsin said...

Your excellent entry calls to thought something the Discoverer and Founder of Christian Science points out in "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures", "To enter into the heart of prayer, the door of the erring senses must be closed." (Mary Baker Eddy)
How many of us know how challenging this is! Even while sitting in church.

G. T. - New York said...

Thoroughly enjoy your website. Always such an original take on things, and I usually get a good laugh out of your descriptions.
Thanks much,

avid reader said...

Really get a bang out of your blog. Know it's bound to be fresh and inspired, not the same old, same old.
Keep it up!

Anonymous said...

Really well written, so fresh and unusual for CS writing.
Keep up the good work you are doing!

Anonymous said...

Very appropriate blogger, and so true. The "door" mentioned by a previous commenter isn't easy to close these days. Years ago there was a lecturer in TMC--back when they printed those things in the Monitor--who spoke of being in the military and being chosen "barracks orderly" or something for a day during basic training. He was grateful for being alone in the barracks that day and spent most of his time trying to get through the Lord's Prayer without losing concentration. Every time he would realize he had lost concentration he would start over again. It took him almost all day to get through the prayer without being distracted. As I recall he finally felt at peace late in the day and the rest of his basic training and military service went very harmoniously. It's a simple exercise, but anyone who's really tried it, knows it isn't easy at all.