Our Father which art . . . I need to get a more comfortable chair, and I'm thirsty. While I'm at it I'll clip this hangnail. Rats! I forgot to get bottled water yesterday.
Hallowed be . . . I wonder if that's the hallow in Halloween. I hope we don't get any trick-or-treaters this year. I'll get something I can eat just in case. What do I want for lunch?
Thy kingdom . . . Is that Bob mowing his yard again? I thought he just finished running his garage-full of noise-makers. He must be short of things to do with his time. I wonder if there has ever been life on Mars. Hmm, what's that speck on the wall?
Thy will be . . . I'll bet Colorado Springs is nice this time of year. Pikes Peak, Garden of the Gods, Green Mountain Falls, if it's still there. That was a lousy danish I had this morning. Mary's eriscopes, can you believe it?
Give us this day . . . Speaking of bread, Fred Smith had better lay off the goodies. We're going to have to assign a couple of ushers as tugs to maneuver the Good Ship Twinkie into his pew if he doesn't watch out. Now where was I? Horoscopes too.
And forgive us our . . . That was a hideous tie the First Reader wore Sunday. Maybe it had breakfast on it, tie by Brooks Brothers and IHOP. Couldn't take my eyes off of it and that old water stain on the ceiling. Come to think of it I haven't seen the Harrises lately.
And lead us not . . . I'd better get the air pressure in my tires checked. It's been quite a while, and it's not a good idea to run them underinflated. Hurts mileage too. Could get gas at the same time. I wonder if I could get by with regular?
For Thine is . . . I'd go to Arby's for lunch, but the service is glacial and it's hard getting out. Hardee's? They never taste as good as they look, and their tv commercials are disgusting. Oh well. I don't know why I bother to pray since it never seems to do any good. Meow Mix, hubba-hubba!