Furtive "earth-weights"

As the sincere traveller continues to ascend the mountain of "heaven-crowned Christianity" he can hope to be encouraged and admonished by spiritual monitors stationed along the way. They will point out the numerous encumbering "earth-weights" he may be painfully toting up the "hillside steep".

Spiritual Monitor. That back pack is much too heavy to carry to the top.
Traveller. It's just some mental comfort food. Nothing to get alarmed about.
M. Let's have a look inside just the same. Hmm. Lots and lots of pet peeves I see, like the twits, as you put it, who throw trash out their car windows as they drive or leave their shopping carts loose to roam like vagrants in parking lots scratching and denting other's cars.
T. Well, they are a nuisance, just like the inconsiderate blots on the landscape who drive and talk on their cell phones, or the pestilential types who drop their used chewing gum on the sidewalk or fail to pick up after their dogs in the park. As the G&S song says, they are the kind "who never would be missed". There should be a nice spot in Hatlo's Inferno for them.
M. Tsk-tsk. You apparently have no idea how much all those claims of a material reality weigh. You will never get to the mountain top with them.
T. It provides a catharsis to give those reprobates their comeuppance--mentally at least. Why should I ignore a bunch of inconsiderate Neanderthals who look fit enough to enter a decathlon and yet park in handicapped spaces?
M. Our whole duty in life is to love God with all our hearts and keep His commandments and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Right?
T. I know, I know, but what's the harm of a little innocent and just criticism?
M. Because it's never innocent or harmless. Aha! What snarky little musings do we have here in the politicians and celebrities file? A gay and giddy young Nancy Pelosi coquettishly batting her eyes--when they were, presumably, battable--at a lascivious Tiger Woods.
T. I couldn't resist. The thought of those two inflicted on each other in unholy matrimony warmed the cockles of my heart. It's like someone said of the marriage of Thomas Carlyle and Jane Welch: It's great blessing was that only two people were made miserable by the union. Then, later, to see her roaring like an enraged Hummer through the thick undergrowth of his infidelities with those huge and implacable headlights on high beam bearing down on him . . . it gives me goose bumps to contemplate it.
M. But it gives more than goose bumps to your spiritual well-being. It doesn't matter if irritations like those cling to you like limpets. Get rid of them!
T. How about just a select few in a fanny pack? How much could they possibly weigh?
M. The answers to your questions are no and more than you obviously realize. You do not have time for such foolish thoughts.
T. How about . . . ?
M. No! Leave those folks to stew in their own juices. As Christ Jesus said: "What is that to thee?" and "follow me".